Shokugeki no anime
by rhetoricjudgement
Summary: A parody of all animes that I've watched in text form
1. chapter 1

Introduction

Alright its a mix up of animes and just for comedy purposes. Obviously i dont own the characters but im still going to use them in every possible way. Oh and im a lazy person.

here's what you can expect~

 **Lelouch:** So what is this thing?

 **Soma:** As you can see its a duel between animes.

 **Lelouch:** chess

 **Soma:** Yeah but without a chess board.

 **Lelouch:** rebellion

 **Soma:** what the heck are you on to?

 **Lelouch** that someone stole my pizza

 **C.C:** You didn't even order a pizza.

 **Lelouch:** I made one.

 **Soma:** You dont know how to cook.

 **Lelouch:** Sure I do. What do you think Nunnallys been eating?

 **C.C:** Is that why she's blind and crippled?

 **Lelouch:** Yes i mean no.

 **Soma:** You know what? let the great master of food handle this.

 **Lelouch:** Oh ho ho ho pedophile

 **Soma:** What do you mean?

 **Lelouch:** I saw your food gives orgasm to anyone who eats it.

 **Soma:** No.it doesn't.

 **Lelouch:** Yes it does. Pedophile. Stay away from my sister.

 **Soma:** You do realise you're the person that made her blind and crippled with YOUR food.

 **Lelouch:** Atleast I had the decency to keep her innocence intact.

 **C.C:** I think I need to call child care services.

 **The Child care services**

 **Mao:** Hello. Who's this?

 **C.C:** Hello can i report an abuse of a teenage girl?

 **Mao:** C.C is that you? I've been waiting for you.

 **C.C:** What the fuck is wrong with these people? How can they recruit a psycopath?

 **Mao:** Baby

You

Me

Right Now

 **Hangs Up**

 **C.C:** Forget it.

 **Lelouch:** Crippled Blind Orgasm

 **Soma:** If in terms of damage then yes.

 **C.C:** and if I hear this anymore I'll begin to drop Iq on my way to death bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Thank You for reading my chapter 1. I'm fairly new to fanfiction net so i don't actually know much about its functions and I how to use it with its full capability.

Here goes~

 **Natsu:** Are we there yet?

 **Gray:** Natsu your puking is getting so last week.

 **Natsu:** Shuddup

 **Lucy:** So we're going to this rehabilation school.

 **Happy:** Aye! Ashford Academy.

 **Lucy:** Our goal is to survive and be the top 1% to graduate.

 **Gray:** Apparently they give points for negative damage.

 **Lucy:** This should be no problem with Natsu on board.

 **Gray:** Gramps probably didn't read the rules before sending us to this rehabilation school.

 **Back at fairy tail**

 **Makarov:** I feel so good after sending those brats away

 **Mirajane:** Master did you know they give more points for negative damage.

 **Makarov:** *pukes*

 **Back to the trio**

 **Lucy:** We've finally arrived.

 **Natsu:** Alright, let's destroy the whole school. I'm all fired up.

 **Erza:** Unquestionable.

 **Gray:** Where did she come from?

 **Erza:** This is a human school and you all have to behave as humans. Got that?

 **Natsu:** Aye!

 **Happy:** Natsu stop copying my lines.

 **Milly:** Welcome~ You must be the new students that just transferred here.

 **Lucy:** Yes, its nice to meet you.

 **Milly:** Those boobs could rival shirley's.

 **Shirley:** Kaichou!!!!

 **Natsu:** So do we get to fight here?

 **Gray:** We've to study here flame brain.

 **Natsu:** Can we have a magic party?

 **Gray:** Magic party

 **Lucy:** Magic party?

 **Milly:** Magic party!!!

 **Erza:** Unquestionable!

 **Lelouch:** Oh no not again. Now I won't be able to escape for my black knight costume fest.

 **Kallen:** You mean you're going there too?

 **Lelouch:** *uses his geass*Forget whatever I said.

 **Kallen:** What did you say?

 **Lelouc** **h:** Exactly

 **Kallen:**...

 **Shirley:** Love rival.

 **Gray:** *shivers* I feel like I'm forgetting something.

 **Lucy:** You can't shiver idiot. You're an ice wizard.

 **Gray:** But I'm definitely forgetting something.

 **Erza:** *beats Lucy* Unquestionable! Didn't I tell you to keep our magical abilities a secret?

 **Gray:** You just said it yourself.

 **Erza:** Unquestionable! I deserve a beating.

 **Milly:** Huh! BDSM. We'll be best friends.

 **Erza:** Unquestionable!

 **Natsu:** Is that a pun?

 **Gray:** Or she doesn't know what that word means.

 **Shirley** : Let me help you meet the new people. Now this is very important because this will help you get along with us. You got your cool asian *points at suzaku* , crippled blind girl *points at Nunnally* , sex freak * points at Nina* I heard she masturbates with the corner of the table, people you want to kill *points at Kallen* , your sidekick *points at rivalz* , your crush *points at Lelouch* backoff he's mine, the best person you'll ever meet *points at herself* and the worst *points at Milly*.

 **Rivalz** : I hear her hair is blonde because its full of secrets.

 **Lucy:** What does blonde hair have to do with secrets?

 **Happy:** Lucy didn't you stalk Fairy Tail before you joined us?

 **Lucy:** That's admiration.

 **Natsu:** Its alright Lucy despite all your shortcomings we accepted you.

 **Lucy:** Its not me, its you.

 **Gray:** She's still in the denial stage.

 **Milly:** Alright now its time for you to introduce yourself.

 **Lucy:** I am..

 **Happy:** Let me do it Lucy because you'll bore everyone. The blonde is Lucy don't carry her because she's heavy, the transportation puking machine is Natsu, the stripped guy is Gray and the red monster is Erza and I am Happy the nicest guy you'll ever meet.

 **Lucy:** You're a cat

 **Happy:** She's mean *runs away while crying*

 **Natsu:** You don't have to be so mean Lucy.

 **Lucy:** But its the truth.

 **Nina:** *Gyahhhhhh* he's naked.

 **Gray:** Hey miss if you find my underwear you can keep it because you need it more than me.

 **Erza:** Unquestionable! *punches Gray and Gray flies away*

 **Gray:** Why is it always me?

 **Happy:** Aye! That's all for today.

 **Happy:** Stand, Bow, Aye!


End file.
